How to Have it All

Do you have it all?

Do you enjoy a rewarding career, savour every precious moment with your children, maintain a fabulous social life, and sit every Sunday night, in your immaculate Pinterest worthy home feeling #blessed?

Well lovely, this is not for you. In fact I’m not sure you’re telling the truth, but whatever. In fact I’m not sure anyone Has it All. I think the closest anyone comes is ‘Doing it All’*.

So rather do you ‘Do it All?’

  • Do you squeeze the responsibilities of a full time job into part time hours with less respect, recognition and chance of promotion?
  • Do you cram your ‘days off’ with a week’s full of activities for your children, playdates and classes, so you don’t feel guilty that they’re missing out because you work?
  • Are you forgoing much needed sleep because you feel you should be able to keep up at weekends with people posting on Facebook about their nights out?
  • Do you take on most of the responsibilities for the running of the house? The phrases ‘dad’s babysitting’ or ‘my husband’s really good, he helps me around the house’ spring to mind.

Then yes, you’re doing it all, and you’re not alone.

What’s the solution?

I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel very feminist for me to suggest women should take time out of work. But then it doesn’t feel very feminist that the list above sums up most of the women I know.

I feel that the elephant in the room is age, and time. That we (and men) are expected to hit career high by 35, which is the time most of us are having babies. It is physically impossible to spend all your time with your children whilst working 60 hours a week. With rising retirement age, I have 40 years left to work, and less than 18 months while my children are both pre-schoolers. I reckon that gives even a person as lazy as me plenty of time to find my career peak, preferably when I’m averaging more than 5 hours sleep a night


*(nb this post is not sponsored by the failed 90s DIY chain)

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